Tentang Nina Harfin #5

Two weeks later, I started to get tired of the routine. I woke up at 3 am as he called me to wake me up to do prayer, and we had phone call until the next prayer and he went sleep. I needed to sleep at 9 pm to be able to do that, and i needed to have a nap at 1 pm just to make sure my brain worked well. When he went to the office (Germany time), I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t tell him about the things I had been went through in a day. I was tired to just get a text after 5 hours or so. At that time, I just recovered from a heartbreak and I didn’t think this worth a fight to. And I told him,

“Eh gimana kalo kita kontakannya pas sama-sama sempat aja? Kayak, pas kamu pulang dan aku masih bangun, atau pas weekend, atau pas kamu pulang ke indo?”

I was ready to let this go. I couldn’t bear this uncertain feelings.

“Kamu pengertian dong Nin. Disini kan aku kerja. Kamu sekarang pas lagi selo, tapi coba besok pas kamu balik ke rumah sakit, mungkin kamu yang lebih sibuk. Kenapa nggak kita belajar aja untuk saling sempetin? Toh aku tetep bales, kan. Cuma lama….”

(lah malah dimarahin…..???)

And I couldn’t read the rest of the message. I cried. Why couldn’t I just escape? I wasn’t a fond of a long distance relationship, I didn’t see a future in us.

“Oh…ok then. Met kerja ya..:)” I told him as if nothing happened.

But then, I just slept with tears on my cheek. I didn’t wanna think about anything.