let go

i learn in a hard way that sometimes we have to let it go.
let things go as the fate plays the scene.

sometimes i let go a loved one for another one, for who i am that seems dont deserve him, for my own dreams, for my own ego, for my future maps, for a distance, for a complicated connecting line, for ...

to be truth, im tired. im not good in relationship, i must admit. i just thought that my life is too short to be spent with the wrong ones. so go get married, nin, no?

but it's not only about relationship, that things may not turn out as we wanted it to be. sometimes we have kind of dreams, we've worked hard, but we failed to touch the finish line. sometimes, we've had a solid schedule of happiness to-do-list; a list of activities that makes us happy during the day. but who knows, a person would come into us, throws an anger in a sudden, then the negativity radiates to us. andwhat if it's not only a person, but a bunch of people that do a thing and just accidentally hurt us. physically or mentally.

in my senior year, whenever i was sad, i would study 'cs i knew medical school awaited. but now.. well.

just suck it up, dude.

welcome, fourth semester!

"dulu waktu SMA, bisa aja nggak suka sama pelajarannya, nggak suka sama gurunya, banyak main, banyak drama. tapi sekarang, aku dan orang-orang lain milih jurusan karena emang suka. dan apa ya.. kuliahnya nyenengin sih. aku suka. jadi rasanya nggak ada alesan untuk nggak strive for the best, whatever it takes. kita udah milih sendiri apa yang paling kita suka, dan pelajarannya nyenengin, kok. udah gede juga, harus udah mulai tanggung jawab sama pilihan kita masing-masing" -- best friend talking about how people can academically raise so much in college.

aku juga nggak boleh kalah!:D welcome fourth semester!

days off

"If the appropriate exposure does not happen, the pathways developed in anticipation may be discarded. This is sometimes referred to as the concept of "use it or lose it." It is through these processes of creating, strengthening, and discarding synapses that our brains adapt to our unique environment."

i read the concept about 'use it or lose it' for the first time in a novel 'sloppy first'. the thing i love about foreign novel was that the writer seemed to have a kind of research. and i kind of believe in that thing ever since.

this holiday, im trying to make a good habit so the brain can work automatically afterward. im trying to be more discipline, to manage my time way much more effectively. 

let's say i have 20 days off. the first 2 days were for campus something. the next 4 days were for holiday with family. the next 7 days were for lovely ones and works (ai magz, MC team, and all). and the next 7 days will be for another holiday with sandy in Jakarta. 

i try to manage my time really really well. i try my best to not waste a bit, well i even wasted my time but i keep it less. i try to make myself busy, to read books, to do works, to surround myself with good people and all. i try myself to make such a good habit, ;cause if i dont use it, i will lose it.

you know, when we're being teenagers, the neurons are making their ways to connect to each others. and some says it will be permanent.that's why build a character, a habit, a way of thinking, is important when we're young. making mistakes is necessary at this time. we learn. if we fall hard at this time, then managed to bounce back harder, be stronger than ever, we would have the memory of being strong. and as the stressor comes up again, the memory would have managed our brain to do the same, or even better, if we had learnt much.and the case i remember in the foreign novel i read, is that: try to love as much as you can. bcs what if you grow up and your brain stops making a memory about love so you coulnt recognize love? so be selective on the things you absorb and dont be afraid of failing. it surely makes you wiser 'cs you learn much better than who arent.

i believe that in this teenage years, we're all seen as a bomb that could explode anytime we could. parents are so much aware of that. but if it's really needed, just explode once, or twice. because we will lose our rights to explode once we get into adulthood. kya!!! not.

so then, i promise myself, i would learn as much as i can, i would do such hard work to chase my dreams, to leave my comfort zone, to grow better, and if i ever fail i will bounce back higher.

to get closer to Allah.

ameen.

february means..

February means lovey dovey post... doesnt it?
well, i didnt plan to have another lovey dovey post on my blog, but there's a thing that keeps me discussing with few friends of mine, lately.

soulmate.

i do believe in fate. i do. but we girls, in the second year of college, with few friends of mine that had married,   will eventually have this kind of anxiety. soulmate.

i know at this very moment i've got a boyfriend, a very good one, i must admit. but you know, we don't know how life would treat us in the next second. we cant predict what future would give us. we just cant.

well, every relationship will have differences between two. it's something inside us that makes us dynamically change for each other. but there will be few things that makes us stop changing. that few things that we dont know when it will come, or it just wont come so the relationship's saved until the very last second.

and sometimes, heart can play around too. it can change its feelings, too, unexpectedly. scary, isnt it?


and i promise, i will let my heart choose and be chosen.

“Pada akhirnya nanti, semua pasti akan berjodoh pada pasangannya masing-masing..
Tak perlu takut, tak perlu khawatir. Semua sudah diatur olehNya…
Karena apa yang tidak ditakdirkan untuk menimpamu, semudah apapun jalannya, tidak akan pernah menjadi milikmu…
Pun juga sebaliknya…
Apa yang ditakdirkan bagimu, sesulit apapun kelihatannya, sesukar apapun jalannya, semustahil apapun itu, pasti tetap akan terjadi padamu..
Dan yakinlah, Allah itu selalu dan pasti akan memberikan yang terbaik untuk hambaNya..
:)”---  Sasha, 20 tahun, sudah menikah.