i haven't even recovered from the previous rotation, then here comes another 10 weeks of rotation packed with lots of night shifts. i almost went insane but then i took deep breath and long pause. i haven't been studying anything at all for these past week, i haven't done anything academic-related. i've been spending my time to be with my family, to go out, to read my fav book, to watch youtube videos, et cetera. i'm not a hundred percent ready to be back with hospital routine yet:(
in the midst of the crazy schedule, i found a competition held by Periplus to post on Instagram a picture with book as our companion. I was soooo excited to join that competition and i ended up posting like 5 or 6 photos during that period. let's pray that i would win that! *finger crossed* i took my free time during the weekend or after my morning shift to organize my books, take lots of pictures of them, create perfect caption and post it. i really poured my heart on that competition, by the way! hahaha.
To be truth, it's been such a rough month for me. December should be my favorite month when i can reflect back of what i've done for the past 12 months, and plan my new year resolution, but the fact is, i dont feel like i could function a hundred percent for these past few weeks. the hospital-related duty absorbs most of my energy and left me so little to just even survive that day. i wish i remember how excited i was to be in clinical rotation, but to be truth, it's really really tiring. i wish i could spend my time doing things that i love, not only to be in hospital for around 80 hours per week.
What helped me the most during these hard weeks were my new addiction to Kinfolk, my highschool sweethearts, my college mates and few youtube videos. i know i cannot be alone, i need anyone else, anything else, to share my thoughts, to talk to, to joke around, et cetera, but i couldn't find that in the hospital because everyone else was so busy taking care of their own bussiness, and there were less time for us to even socialize. So i tried to connect with my friends a lot, i asked them out, i bought things that probably could make me happy.
Today is the perfect example of what i've been trying to do with mylife: trying to make myself happy and content despite of any circumtances. Today i started my day in the hospital, and got back at 3 pm, i went to mall right after, bought myself a pair of shoes since i only had two pairs and both of them become slippery, pairs of socks, few pieces of doughnuts and ended that afternoon with a full bowl of bakso kuah when it was raining hard outside. then i went home and have convo with the whole family. our conversation was the one what that made this rainy night less cold than it should be.
i know for some people what i've been doing is just an ordinary thing; everyone can go to Mall and do shopping and eat a lot, meet their family, et cetera. but for me, these things are such a luxury. i haven't had time for myself, to take care of myself. i even hadn't gotten time to cut my messy hair until last weekend. my new haircut still didn't satisfy me, so i cut it way shorter all by myself, and surprisingly it turned out really really really good!!
This week is a starter week for the next ten weeks. i've been taking a long pause so next week, i need to be more energized than i am today. it's hard to go on a day when you're drained and has no spirit for that day, you can even become denial and it's even more tiring. so i hope i can recover fast and be ready to face another big challange for the next two months. wish me luck!:)
