Rembember when i wrote the #DasaWina series? I was nothing but very sceptical about long distance relationship. What kind of relationship is that? A very fragile and sad one, i thought.
And then..
There comes the moment
When i've gotta get through that;
6700 miles, 5 hours of time difference.
Sleeping when he's awake, doing things while he's asleep. Sleepless nights. Bad bad signal connection. Phone call. Video call. Chats. Pictures. Voice notes. Singing song. Sleepy face. Love letter. Postcards. Emails. Everything. I've done it all.
And let me tell you it wasn't easy at all. How could you build trust without real convo, without looking at his eyes, to really tell that he's saying the truth? How could you feel comfortable with that person without having his physical presence around you?
Now we're living in the same GMT +7 area but it doesn't mean things get easier.
I would never think i could ever do this without him. He's more than i'd ever thought he was. He's such an incredible man not only because he's super brainy (and nerdy and geeky and everything that follows in one package but i totally love!!!) and ultimate kind, but because he rains me with endless patience like i actually never deserve; little he knows that it has helped me to grow, a lot. I gave up easily but he never made that as a choice. It's wonderful how we both try to meet halfway, though we have huge huge ego. He knows exactly what he wants and so do i, but we try to compromise a lot; or according to him, it's to 'sort and shift'. It's amazing how we can talk about anything, from science to politics, and it leaves me in awe that most of the time we share the same value over things, and even if we argue, we never dabate to win our arguments but to get the finest understanding instead.
Thank you, Fin. You know how i feel about you. My feelings to you grow incredibly even after i know that you're not perfect and our relationship is not perfect, because i ain't perfect too so we have a lot of space to grow together. May the fourth be with us ❤️
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Friday, May 6, 2016
Peds dept.
paediatric dept was one of the most exhausting yet the most exciting at the same time. children go unstable unbelievably easily. tight monitoring on the night shift was terribble (which happened pretty often, like every single night of our night shifts), made us lack of sleep & become crancky in the morning. early morning report & daily duties forced us to be awake in the noon. we went home to take a loooong sleep just to wake up in the morning with the exact same routine. and in the midst of that, we need to study, a lot.
day to day, we saw them got better gradually, the happiness that was drawn visibly on their parents' faces, that oh-so-happy-and-relieved face to know that they could go home today, and actually, it felt like family. the community got bigger and stronger (and nicer, and warmer, and kinder, and anything like a home in a hospital).
there were also the days when the kids got worse. we need to rescucitate them, we didn't sleep to make sure they didn't forget to breath, we checked them every 15 minutes to finally found them died few hours later. the cries were devastating. the parents went mad. and we, the ones who checked on them for times were in silence. it was like 'he was with me an hour ago. and now he's gone?'.
the hospital i was in, was quite big. there were kids with HIV +, congenital heart disease, other congenital anomaly, kidney disease, terrible infections, and cancer, lots of it. they went back and forth to the hospital, left their school, missed their friends, couldn't play outsite and forgot what it feels to be under the sun and the rain. they cried at times, they were tired, frustrated, bored, and in pain. the moment when we tried to comfort them were the moment that made them cried worse because they're afraid of those who wears white coat.
but to be honest, in spite of the LOTS of works in peds (and i meant A LOT), it was one of the most rewarding dept i've ever been on. the instant gratification we got from the kids and the parents were wonderful. when the kids got sick, it's quite pricey, the parents can't go to work, the kids can't go to school, and the family stick around the hospital bed. it's unhealthy even for the parents' wellbeing. so whenever we told them that their kids had got better, they couldnt hide their smiles. and when we finally told them that they could go home today, they were beyond happy. the way they thanked us was incredibly rewarding. in the other hand, the doctors (paediatricians) put a lot of commitment to stay update with the latest treatment and technology so their patients can get the best possible service they could ever get. with that kind of work and that kind of reward, i felt something that i couldn't get from any other department.
it's always been a pleasure to do what i love and love what i do :)
P.s.: wrote this because i was on tears reading Humans of New York Page, talking about Paeditric Cancer. made me remember about all of those. :')
day to day, we saw them got better gradually, the happiness that was drawn visibly on their parents' faces, that oh-so-happy-and-relieved face to know that they could go home today, and actually, it felt like family. the community got bigger and stronger (and nicer, and warmer, and kinder, and anything like a home in a hospital).
there were also the days when the kids got worse. we need to rescucitate them, we didn't sleep to make sure they didn't forget to breath, we checked them every 15 minutes to finally found them died few hours later. the cries were devastating. the parents went mad. and we, the ones who checked on them for times were in silence. it was like 'he was with me an hour ago. and now he's gone?'.
the hospital i was in, was quite big. there were kids with HIV +, congenital heart disease, other congenital anomaly, kidney disease, terrible infections, and cancer, lots of it. they went back and forth to the hospital, left their school, missed their friends, couldn't play outsite and forgot what it feels to be under the sun and the rain. they cried at times, they were tired, frustrated, bored, and in pain. the moment when we tried to comfort them were the moment that made them cried worse because they're afraid of those who wears white coat.
but to be honest, in spite of the LOTS of works in peds (and i meant A LOT), it was one of the most rewarding dept i've ever been on. the instant gratification we got from the kids and the parents were wonderful. when the kids got sick, it's quite pricey, the parents can't go to work, the kids can't go to school, and the family stick around the hospital bed. it's unhealthy even for the parents' wellbeing. so whenever we told them that their kids had got better, they couldnt hide their smiles. and when we finally told them that they could go home today, they were beyond happy. the way they thanked us was incredibly rewarding. in the other hand, the doctors (paediatricians) put a lot of commitment to stay update with the latest treatment and technology so their patients can get the best possible service they could ever get. with that kind of work and that kind of reward, i felt something that i couldn't get from any other department.
it's always been a pleasure to do what i love and love what i do :)
P.s.: wrote this because i was on tears reading Humans of New York Page, talking about Paeditric Cancer. made me remember about all of those. :')
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