may memories

it's hard to keep up with blogging while you already had twitter, path, instagram to update about yourlife and all. but here is, i'm a committed blogger even there's no one read that bcs i just love to look back at my previous post and remembering me how far the time has brought me.
this is what May has given to me so far:

1. everyone has a problem. dont ever dare to judge
like how i was dissapointed by few people who turned out they had real issues than just mine. how the people who acclaimed not having any problems actually have it but they hadnt realized it just now, and all.
2. be grateful & do your part
'cause God only gives us and wants us to do and take our own portions. it's specially there for us.
3. God over anything
and Allah is the best thing happened in my life.
4. stop procrastinating
i hate to say this but really, procrastinating leads me to waste lots of time and tons of works which was really really depressing in the end. hate it.
5. healthy life style isn't only a title of our last block in the third year
it's a real thing we should always think about and do every single day. no healthy day no cheating day, because we're just living the healthy lifestyle not only the healthy life-trend.

bits of the lovely hectic days

im not a big fan of being busy, having too much to do in 24 hours, but that's my routine for the last year and more. now im making the whole yearbook thingies which has so many things to do in such little time, excluding the academic stuff itself.
i will always remember the good old days when i had nothing to do (mostly) in my spare time, hang out with my ex whenever wherever (yes, i've been missing those good old days which can't be returned back. we're socrazily busy and done with trying.), hang out with my high school sweethearts//bestfriends, and all. i miss those all i've been losing those moments in the alst 20s months. wish i could get that back before clinical rotation next year.
yeah, life passes by so fast.

love this

save orang utan

Post by Alain Compost.

still

You came out so perfect I found no words to describe.

World hasn’t invented the word for: a perfect guy i strangely knew in a short amount of time like i’ve known each other for forever and makes my heart beats a whole lot faster than it used to be. And it wasn't even existed in my fantasy… it shoot me hard because I never realized that the reality could be this…. Wonderful.

You. The one I wish I could tell my day all-about in the end of the day. The one that I wish I know his whole day, including with whom he was having lunch with, what was the last meal he ate, or even what’s his homework for tomorrow. The one that I will listen to, even it’s kinda boring, like the 20-times-repeated of his first Olympiad-winning story. I will weep his tears when he talked about his first so-called failure. I will genuinely listen to his dreams and support him all the way to achieve them all. The one that makes me stop counting how many tears and fights I’ve been getting through only to be forever with him.

But you know, life is not simply a fairytale.

So there was an afternoon when we met and I smiled so much.

But 5 minutes later I was extremely sad, I didn’t know why at first.

Later on, when my brain had functioned well, I realized.

you couldnt be mine.

new fav dance-fitness video

i've been not doing any kind of exercise for the past few weeks and now having a problem with toooo much sleep. i feel sleepy all the time yet never really feel energized. i only swim once in a week and it's kinda bad comparing my old habit of doing morning jog or cycling for 20 minutes or more. i feel like i neeeeddd to do some kind of exercise but tooooo lazy to start anything heavy. so i clicked youtube for "fun exercise" and found this video. it's great, not so tiring but you'll surprised how much sweat you'll get in the end of session. good start,love it!:)

all that matters

like Taylor Swift once said, breakups and other sad moments inspire us more to write music than the happy moments. so lacking of blogposts here means.... well.. not in that kind of happy; the state of having it-all, the wonderful things i've been wanting. no. but in state that im grateful of all of the things i have.

i hate how peer pressure us to have a certain relationship with certain person. like: "you're single? no, you kidding me". well, accept the fact im way tooo awesome to anybody. (heeee.. no. jk). im just like, i know the stories, a lot of that, about relationship. what's the purpose of that? to know people better? what for? im just losing any rational thoughts about Why We Should Date Anyone if There's No Such Thing as A Passionate Love. i've never loved a guy that much lately.

so i like to know people, mingle with others, befriend with both males and females. when I've got a guy cached my attention, I've got a goal right after: to know him better. but then when things go smooth and all, my goals are achieved and.. i really don't see the point of going out together almost every single day (or every single week) with the same person, talking about the (almost) same things all the time. you know, maybe it's me who cant take commitment seriously, or it's just me that haven't met the right guy whatsoever, but i do things with purpose, and spending my time to the one who expect me much and let me have such responsibility to take care of one's little fragile heart aren't my goals for now.

i'm not a hyped girl, then. for having no boyfie, posting no couple-y thingy, getting no romantic surprises and gift, but i am so much blessed for living in the same roof with my family and having my brother as my neighbor plus my sister in law and my niece. so if you asked me what i do in my spare time, i would answer: i'll hang out with my old mates (high school never ends, remember?) and just chill out with my family, either at home or at our favorite place. i was trying so hard, to fit in, to leave out the 'independent girl' thingy, just to be with a guy, have a great relationship like the others. even i really enjoyed the supportive things, the lovey dovey things, the caring stuffs, like no other best friends will give you. but... i'm more like a person that only will be the man i'm deeply in love with or being alone

my family is my treasure. they love me unconditionally, never expect anything in return, always treat me right, and never get mad at me if im being me, like all the time. they're my only love after Allah. they're always on my prayers after Shalat. they're the only ones i can talk to for hours and make me feel better. i would never replace these times when my family's bond gets tighter each day. i love you, guys. i really do.

it doesn't mean im not interested 'to be with the right guy'. im just not into a certain young-and-free relationship now but tooooo young to marry anyone.
so what are you up to now, Nin?
i'm now focusing on spending my time with my family, paying back all the love they've been given to me for the past (almost) 20 years and making a great history of myself. (Ehem)

maybe someday a guy would be walk in and make me realize how it doesn't work on anybody else, but before it happens to me, i'll still believe that the awesome-right-man is still exist and the only meaningful relationship in the whole universe is marriage; that's the only worthy relationship one should have. someday. amiin.

i keep thinking to post this or not. i mean i would look like a terrible mess with this kind of writing. but really, i stuck with this thoughts for a couple of days and i just need to write it out.

love and relationship are good. really. for anybody but me, now.