Tentang Nina Harfin #11

The first rotation after long holiday was internal medicine. I stayed at hospital until 9-10 pm, every single day. That was nothing compared pediatric or obs/gyn rotation, but he started to feel uncomfortable already. How would I explain to him that I was so tired I couldn’t call him? Or that I had to wake up so early to do so many homeworks and couldn’t let him know that I had woken up or that I had went to hospital?

“So sorry, but you had to understand that my rotation would be a lot like this,” I told him.

And I told him for times.

We argue a lot, followed by a lot more of discussion. 

I didn’t like picking a fight. I was the kind of person to leave just like that and throw ‘terserah’ whenever I wanted because I didn’t wanna think about stuffs. I didn’t wanna debate, I didn’t wanna negociate; those things need effort and I didn’t think most of my previous relationships worth the efforts.
But then I thought, I couldn’t do that if I wanted us become a team.

And that was the very first time I tried my diplomacy ability, to compromise to a man I had known only for few months, to discuss, to listen more and try to understand more, to ask what I really want. I would never do that if it wasn’t for him.


Extra: but after that, he handled my busy schedule way much better. Hands down to this guy who didn’t get texts from me during day and night that frequent yet he still tried his best to understand.
It was so much more than I had given, much more than I had expected.

Tentang Nina Harfin #10

He was finally back to the hometown. We finally met.

We
Finally
Freaking
Met.

And surprisingly, it wasn’t as awkward as I thought. We had pretty fun date to cinema, watched sunset, and had dinner as the closure.
Despite all the fun day with him, I secretly awed how natural it was, as if we had known forever. I didn’t have to act like anyone else, I didn’t have to think what to do or what to say. We didn’t have to play pretend. It was like we dated for some times.

So I thought, “oh ini pacarku yang aku belum pernah ketemu itu..”

Tentang Nina Harfin #9

And I had that routine for weeks; woke up at 3 am, called him, had my normal day, called him at 12 pm to make sure he was awake already, texted him until 1-2 pm, waited for the lunch break at 5-6 pm, and waited him from work at 9 pm, sleep, repeat. That was not much to say during that time. I kept a lot of things from him. Then, I decided to write though #AboutHim00. The number following the hashtag was the number of days I’ve known him since the first day I texted him, 4th April 2016.

“Someday we will find what we are looking for.
Or maybe we won’t.
Maybe we will find something much greater than that.
Maybe it’s you.”

#AboutHim00 46

Tentang nina Harfin #8

28 April 2016

We had a video call, like any other random nights. And he said,

“Kita kan udah lama ya Nin kenal, kontakan, aku ngerasa nyambung sama kamu..dan makin kesini aku ngerasa sayang sama kamu…”

And I was laughing. I had no idea that this guy would say anything like that.

“Oh.. ya iya kok aku juga seneng kenal baik sama kamu deket sama kamu gini…”

And I was still laughing. Until a moment I thought;

“Ini kamu nembak aku?”

And he was the one who laughed then.

“Iyalah, kalo enggak, menurutmu aku ngapain?”

“While we haven’t met?”

“Yak an udah ketemu di skype. Apa sih bedanya…”

“Ya beda lah…”

And I decided to leave that way. I did not answer. I knew I liked him… but being in a relationship? I didn’t know. I never thought about that, with him, this fast.

Days passed by.

And one day I thought,

Even when I haven’t said it yet, we acted like a lover, you know? Then why don’t we make it official?

And on 4th May I decided to be in a relationship with him; the one I hadn’t met at all.


Crazy crazy love.

Tentang Nina Harfin #7

It had been almost 4 weeks and I felt like I had known him for so long. He’s the kind of guy that I would fall for instantly. He knew what he’s doing, he knew what he was about to do, he knew what he wanted, he knew what he had to do to get what he wanted, he talked to the point, he never ever bragged about his works overseas, he was extra humble about everything. One of the things that makes me wonder about him was his ability to be extra careful about what he ate, whether it was halal or not. Moreover, he put so much effort just to pray 5 times a day even in the office where they didn’t have a place for that, and once a week he had to find nearest mosque outside the office just to pray. And I thought the last point was the thing that made me fall for him hardest.


But I didn’t think that kind of guy would fall for me.

Tentang Nina Harfin #6

A week later, 3 weeks after our first text and I still hang on. I thought, there would be something unpredictable that would make us apart in the future like any other guy before, so I just needed to wait.

When I woke up from a nap, I got a voice mail from him, and I pressed the play button.


For the very first time, I heard someone sang me a song so beautifully. And I cried out of happiness.

Maliq and d’essentials - Pilihanku

Then I thought, He might have a tiny little feelings for me… but it didn’t mean anything.. Right?

I mean, I had few guys in the past who came back and forth just to have my attention and went missing when I needed them. I had tons of heartbreaks caused by that. And I was prepared for another one.

Even though I couldn’t stop smiling from that surprise from him, I didn’t think he would like the idea of us being together in a relationship.

I kept playing the song until I lost to count.

Tentang Nina Harfin #5

Two weeks later, I started to get tired of the routine. I woke up at 3 am as he called me to wake me up to do prayer, and we had phone call until the next prayer and he went sleep. I needed to sleep at 9 pm to be able to do that, and i needed to have a nap at 1 pm just to make sure my brain worked well. When he went to the office (Germany time), I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t tell him about the things I had been went through in a day. I was tired to just get a text after 5 hours or so. At that time, I just recovered from a heartbreak and I didn’t think this worth a fight to. And I told him,

“Eh gimana kalo kita kontakannya pas sama-sama sempat aja? Kayak, pas kamu pulang dan aku masih bangun, atau pas weekend, atau pas kamu pulang ke indo?”

I was ready to let this go. I couldn’t bear this uncertain feelings.

“Kamu pengertian dong Nin. Disini kan aku kerja. Kamu sekarang pas lagi selo, tapi coba besok pas kamu balik ke rumah sakit, mungkin kamu yang lebih sibuk. Kenapa nggak kita belajar aja untuk saling sempetin? Toh aku tetep bales, kan. Cuma lama….”

(lah malah dimarahin…..???)

And I couldn’t read the rest of the message. I cried. Why couldn’t I just escape? I wasn’t a fond of a long distance relationship, I didn’t see a future in us.

“Oh…ok then. Met kerja ya..:)” I told him as if nothing happened.

But then, I just slept with tears on my cheek. I didn’t wanna think about anything.