A Grateful Heart

It’s been a month and 2 weeks after my wedding and my life is full of blessings. Saya bersyukur banget punya suami yang super pengertian, yang mengizinkan saya ambil tugas setahun internship di luar pulau, yang jauhnya 1,5 jam dari airport dan 2 jam dari kota. saya bersyukur banget dapet rotasi di rumah sakit yang dokter-dokternya luar biasa baik, yang perawatnya kooperatif, yang kasusnya lumayan bervariasi, rasanya happy aja gitu di jam kerja. Alhamdulillah juga BHD nggak telat turun. Kosan saya juga enak, deket banget dari RS. Temen-temen saya juga baik-baik dan super helpful.

Earlier in our first 2 weeks of marriage, saya ikut suami ke Jakarta. Sehari-hari jadi ibu rumah tangga, nyapu, ngepel, masak, cuci baju, nyetrika, dan nunggu suami pulang. Rasanya bahagia banget, entah kenapa. Padahal hidup Cuma kayak gitu aja, datar… sampe suami kaget kenapa saya nggak keluar-keluar rumah, padahal waktu di jogja saya nggak betah di rumah sendirian. But maybe the joy comes from within, jadi saya nggak perlu cari kebahagiaan di rumah. Walaupun nggak bisa bohong ya, seneng juga waktu akhirnya jalan-jalan ke mall sama sahabat SMA saya.

I had never been going out of my hometown for 23 years of my life, so this is such a huge step for me. But despite of the difficulties that I’ve facedso far, there are a lot of blessings that I’ve got. I mean, life could be worse than this. RS saya bisa aja super annoying, pembimbinag saya bisa ngeselin, dokter organic bisa galak semua… tapi faktanya engga. Seringnya, saya pulang jaga dengan bahagia. Alhamdulillah, terimakasih ya Allah :)

Epilog/Prolog

Saya rasa Tuhan tidak akan pernah main-main dengan takdir kita. Cerita saya bertemu dengan kamu, mungkin bisa jadi sebuah kebetulan semata, tapi bagaimana kita berdua bertahan dengan satu sama lain rasanya tidak mungkin menjadi kebetulan. Bagaimana saya selalu bahagia disamping kamu, bagaimana saya percaya untuk menitipkan impian-impian saya pada kamu, bagaimana saya selalu bisa memaafkan kamu bahkan sebelum kamu minta maaf, bagaimana saya selalu menanti bertemu kamu kembali pulang. Saya percaya Tuhan menitipkan perasaan ini agar kita bersatu dengan cara yang diberkahi, insyaAllah.

Semoga Allah selalu meridhoi jalan yang kita pilih, membantu kita dan menjaga kita agar selalu berjalan di jalan yang Allah kehendaki.

Terimakasih untuk masa-masa pacaran yang singkat dan indah ini.

Sampai bertemu ketika kita sudah menjadi sepasang suami-istri, sayang.

Tentang Nina Harfin #20

When he talked to my parents about our plan, It was surprisingly smooth, but I was more surprised that he was so calm and far from nervous, talked so gently and clear about everything to both of my parents. That time I knew, I picked the right guy.

Then it came to my engagement day, I was more than nervous. It was so surreal.  Having our family supported our relationship was a blessings. The vibe was so warm and familiar and I was really grateful for that day.

It was one of the happiest day of my life.

Tentang Nina Harfin #19

That was a busy week. My dad appeared on national television, not for good. I didn’t tell anybody what I had gone through, that I cried at night and in the morning. I cried when I heard my father cried while he was reciting Qur’an. I didn’t think my dad deserve this kind of attention.
But my boyfriend knew nothing about that. He knew all the stories from the media. Whenever heasked me, I changed the topic so I didn’t have to explain him anything.
At that moment I just knew that I was not comfortable enough to share things that make me upset to anyone including him. Whenever things got me sad, I didn’t tell him straightforwardly. I kept silent, I took a space from him, and he would be clueless. In the end, I would feel bad about him and back to the old happy me, without him knowing what I felt.
 But something on that moment got me realized that the way I couldn’t express and communicate those things made him upset too.
So One night on a phone call, I finally told him all the things from the very beginning. I learnt to tell him things, to explain him the things that I wasn’t comfortable enough to share, and be more open to him. Even I didn’t know how, I just tried. It was surely not easy for me, but I thought it was necessary for both of us.

And I thought,
Only with him,
I was willing to learn many new things that I thought I wouldn’t do.

I thought what made me love him the most was the fact that he was so smart and humble, or the fact that he prayed 5 times a day. But then I realized that eventhough sharing same principles made us get along better, having someone who love me and willing to do almost anything for me melted my heart the most. The way he looked at me, the way he said ‘I love you’ so frequently, the way he tried his best to make me happy, the way he tried his best to understand me.. was beyond what I had expected. He’s surely an incredible partner.

Tentang Nina Harfin #18

1st January 2017. He was back. My dream guy had back from another timezone.
It was weird though that I wasn’t that much excited. Maybe because I got used to live my daily life without him. Maybe because I had been enjoying life with myself way too much. Or anything else.
That day he picked me up and promised me to have lunch far from town.
“aku laper… bisa deket-deket aja nggak? Geprek kek… apa kek…”
“sekali-kali kita makan agak jauhan lah..”
An hour later, we still stuck in traffic. I was about to cry.
“aku laper banget..”
“iya sabar ya..”
I wasn’t that patient. I kept silent.
We arrived at that place and it was so crowded we almost had no table left.
He saw I held my tears. (I know, I overreacted over food. But please, food is a necessity for human being, so I don’t think my reaction was abnormal. Of if it was, just please, let me). I ate in silent. He said sorry for times for letting me hungry for more than an hour but I thought I was so tired, i just needed to go home and sleep. He begged me to just stay a little bit more. I felt bad for him so I just asked my souvenirs from German. And he gave me a book.



When I opened,
I couldn’t stop laughing.


He couldn’t be that romantic…
Could he?



He didn’t ask the magical words.
And I didn’t answer anything
But I was just beyond happy,
I couldn’t stop laughing.
I couldn’t believe that a guy
Would do this to me.

Extra story:
At home, I called him,
“jadi tadi itu kamu ngelamar aku apa Cuma ngasih cincin aku aja sih?”
“menurut kamu?”
“nggak tau..”
“ya ngelamar kamu lah.”
So next time you should ask, ok?
But wait, there should never be a next time!

Tentang Nina Harfin #17

2nd December 2016. It was his birthday. And I had no idea what to buy as a birthday gift, I had no idea how to celebrate the birthday of loved one. And he was 6 hours late from my time zone.

So I was back to basic; I sang happy birthday and let him blow the candles through the monitor.

I promised him that this was gonna be the last time we celebrated his birthday in such basic way.

And this year I will be right next to you when you wake up in the morning, with many many many upcoming surprises, with more of the things you love the most.

Tentang Nina Harfin #16

When I thought it was gonna be more boring than before, you proved me wrong. You proved me wrong all the time. I never thought that a long distance relationship could be this...fine.