encouragement

firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!!<3

we never really had an awesome surprise for her, so we decided to make something sweet that she would really happy about. we bough minnie mouse stuffs and made a little sweet party (inspired by Raisa's birthday blast) with pinkish theme and cakes and all in a french-themed caffee. and sit turned out really pretty and she really loved it. so happyyyyyyyy:)

sayangnya, besok ana masih ujian so she decided to gohome and study while the rest (me, ririe, sandy) went to Ririe's home. and after a basic plain convo like others best friends had after a party, we were tired and starved. but then after few weird convo, sandy said, like:

"kamu kenapa e nin?" ok, some parts were missing due to respect for all of those people (including me) lol.
"kenapa e? nggak papa kok."
"nggak biasanyakamu gini."
"wahahhaha"  ririe ketawa2 aja. actually that missing line was the key of all those things but... i dont feel like writing it here.

"you know, now all people are in relationships, whether it makes them happy or not, whether the relationship goes well or not and all. and i've never been good at it. like, every girls turn into beautiful creatures after they went to some beauty clinics or went to doctors. im not that kind of girls with lots of cash to burn at those things while i know it's temporary. and those girls can pick the one they like to be with. they have a lot of options. while me, i dont think i have, i get trapped in a school with alot of things to study,  a lot of things to do, it's like. gah.... you know.. i think im not good enough."

"really? it's only about beauty?"

"you're pretty, Nin. compared to xxx (my ex-crush's girlfriend), you're way prettier. but sometimes things get complicated. like how boys feel tiny about your study. medical student.. geez."

"and any others. but well, you're loved. look, how many guys you'd dumped so far?"

"they came from high school, please.."

"you just didnt see. *him and him*, they might like you at certain points but they just didnt date you."

"but that's the point! why they didnt wanna date me?"

"oh come on.... even there's any good reason, it would never be about your appereance. you're fine. ok?"

"you're way overthinking, nin.."

"that's why i need to be with you guys to keep my sanity..."

"and you're kinda complicated if it's about relationship. admit it."

"but well, a whole good looking person isn't all about the pretty face, Nin. we've talked about this. it's about confidence."

"yaps, we've discussed it. like, how a girl can wear anything she liked without looked like a joke because she's simply confidence with herself. it's true and you know it."

"yes, i know.."

"plus, the suggestion. like how you said that girl is reaaaaaalllyyy pretty? and we just believed it, as you said it for thousand times. but you know, turned out she's not that pretty. i asked my boyfie and he said like : she's not that pretty. she's ok, she's fine, but that's it. and now i see her, like my boyfie sees her. she's fine and good but not as ultimately pretty as you always said. sometimes, you should stop praising others and start to praise yourself. it works, you know."

*the original convo used Bahasa Indonesia and Boso Jowo.*

that kind of conversation that i might never replace with any other thing. i love them to the moon and back i dont lie. i love you guys, Sandy&Ririe.

i hate to always talk about this, but i was a girl with such a great confidence. until some people felt like out-shined by me, and started to bully me. and i thought i was never be good. i read about the perfect figure of a human and i tried my best to be that person. and now i still feel like im not good enough. im not pretty enough.
and my convo with them was a whole lot longer than that. now i've committed my self to believe myself more, to love the person in the mirror most. to stop being envious about anything in anyone. bismillah:)

then we saw hitam putih nadya hutagalung and dian sastro edition. that wassss reallyyyyyyyyy good i wanna cry:") their thoughts were so strong, and what they've talked about was all about being in peace. they worked hard, stay pretty (but both still felt like they aint pretty ?!), stay positive and tried to spread more positiveness all around. aaah...... im so much inspired, and even if it sounds cheesy, but i really reallllllyyyyy love themmmmmm eversince!
i love the positive attitude and mind, their goals, and how they make a better life for themselves and others. aaa:)


we three saw eatbulaga's videos (the supperrrrr funnyyyy ones!) and laughed real hard, had little gossips and shared some captured memories from the days we hadn't met. after almost-three weeks of not meeting them, that day was an awesome one. i had a real quality time with them. im so blessed to have best friends like them. :)
and we also talked about Ririe's leaving in next two months.

"you know, im also sad about that. i mean, im all excited, but at the same time i'm afraid, im sad to leave those i love here, including you guys. bet there i would be kind of lonely without you guys." Ririe said.

despite of her new life in college, her busy schedule, her heavy assignments, i appreciate how she tried to always make time for us. i'm really really really gonna miss her..................................



and i just realized that im like the other girls. i have doubts and insecurities, but i also have the sisterhood that strengthens me and helps me to grow better.

alhamdulillah, Thank You, Allah for all of these blessings. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. :)

cheerish the moment!

*just done reading The Magic, worth to read!:)*