hard time

it's been a rough moment. my grade decreased. i've been sad for almost every single week. i feel alone. like no one cares as i care for many. i'm tired begging, im tired working my ass on building relationship with people. when will people fight for me? when will people get used to me?

saya lelah menunggu untuk dimengerti. saya lelah beradaptasi dan menarik semua kegembiraan saya untuk orang lain. awalnya saya tulus ingin menghidupkan suasana. tapi lama-lama saya sadar, cuma saya yang berusaha disini.
saya sering berfikir bagaimana jika saya pergi dari semuanya. bukan mati, saya belum siap bertemu Tuhan. saya cuma ingin mereka tidak memiliki saya lagi. saya lelah.tapi saya tidak pernah menunjukkannya di muka mereka. saya tidak pernah punya keinginan untuk membuat suasana sedih dan runyam bagi orang lain. siapapun itu.

this is my lowest and weakest point. and im still working my ass on to lift it up.





how can people not to stare me and ask if im ok?

they dont know weather im ok or not. i'll be be fine, anyway.



and now im trying my ass on being alone. not to share any single thing to any single one. having dependency on people makes you weak. and i hate myself for being weak. that weak.

please God... i wanna get outta this sad circle. i promise im gonna swim to the edge of this black-inked sadness sea. i hate being here.
iloveYou, Allah, for being THERE when no one else was. thankyou for listening and understanding and giving me great experiences.

idonthaveaboyf, idonthavesupercoolcampuslife, but im sure im gonna have a good personality so i can get trough anything really good. so i can stand&&still.