walking in between fantasy and reality.

i've been encouraging myself to write blog post for weeks. 'i have to write these all!' said my mind to my body. but i don't feel like writing anything until this exact time. 11.00 pm. i don't know what i really wanna write, but i just wanna picture you my reality.

i've accepted in the best med school in Indonesia, said QS surveys. proud? yes i am. but life isn't just about pride, right? this is kinda hard. not saying about the subjects, bcs actually i haven't started any class yet. the first block has its own schedule; unlike other majors, the freshmen of medschool have a week (more) off.

i've been around with smart-ass people, and some of them said they only relied on their luck. well, in this case i mostly said my hardwork and prayer that helped me so much to get in here. there are so many new people. some of them are good, but the rest are.. i don't know. i just hasn't got the time to know them better yet. i feel like left behind, when some of my friends have their own circle of friends. i only know some better. i'm not sure whether it is my circle friends or not, i just feel most comfortable with those few ones.

i know, college life will be rude and the people are also kinda individuals living together. but i just.... haven't got used to it. at that time i felt. what for i get into this school? i could be more relaxed if i were majoring something more light, that wasn't about anyone's life, that didn't put as much pride as this thing, that didn't get as much attention as this. but what for am i complaining? then i asked my self. for nothing. i have to be responsible for what I've chosen.

then Allah gave me a reminder. i read an article about saving gaza last 2010. i remembered what i have to do. what i wanna do. cancer, kids, internal medicine and war victims are still my favorite. i still have such a big heart for doing medical stuff, learn more about that.


i just don't comfortable with the people... yet.
and i kinda dislike a very few ones.


but im very thankful i've got some new nice friends. i hope everything will go smoothly soon. really soon.
thanks for the big support, girls. no one would replace any of you. not even a guy... yet!:p