Self Worth

I learnt in the hard way that our self-worth is not defined by others, but by ourselves. The reason why we will never feel enough about ourselves is because we know ourselves way better than any single person in the whole world. We know every little details that we have, even our dirtiest, worst thoughts that once crossed on our mind, every little tiny memory about the bad things in our childhood and all. But the fact is: no one else knows that. No one but yourself. It’s your choice whether you let them know or not, what you perceive about yourself is what you show to others too.
And maybe, we need to forgive ourselves for being an imperfect human, for making mistakes, for choosing the wrong path, for doing the things we’re not fully aware of, and for simply being ourselves. We might be silly, foolish, lazy and all, but it’s us. If we don’t love ourselves, who would? We’ve gotta work hard to become the person we wanna be, and yet after all, we need to accept who we really are.

I had through a bumpy road before I started to love myself. I need makeup, cute dresses, pink stationaries, black basics, good books, tasty good, few short stories, lovers, best friends, social projects, school, good grades, events, music, movies, and other little things to make me feel good about myself. I also need various social media to know how to accept and even love myself. I grew up knowing I was disliked by my closest friends in class in elementary school, junior high, and senior high. Few weeks or months of rejection made me hated myself. It’s quite hard to finally love myself back, to know that it’s okay to be not okay, it’s ok to make mistakes and be weird and be myself. It took freaking bloody years. I rejected people, I pushed people away, I chained myself to bad companies, I lost myself in the process and it feels really good to finally find myself back.

Bad company corrupts great soul. Cut the ties with the ones who weighed you down, who throw you to your lowest point, who drive you mad, who don’t let you grow, who pushed you to be something that you’re not. Being alone is scary and crazy and lonely and maddening sometimes, but nothing’s worse that being stuck with the person you don’t belong.

I need to be in my best condition to love myself. When life gets hard, I need to be grateful for every single thing in order to love myself.

I’m gonna tell you that it’s not easy at all. How is it supposed to be easy to love the freckles on your cheek? Or the tiny lipstick stain on your white t-shirt? We pay attention to little details, we know the most about our worst sides. But please, look at the bigger picture. Listen to your friend’s compliments about yourself. Sometimes you wonder: am I that good? But believe me, people believe that you’re that good. It’s what they see about you. They’re genuinely credit for what you’ve done. See the bigger pictures. Your flaw doesn’t define you. Your little tiny flaws don’t define you. Your billion flaws don’t define you. You define you. You, with your both positive and negative sides define you. What you’re thinking about yourself define you. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself for who you are. Let people know who you truly are, let them love you for who you truly are. They will, eventually.


I know it’s hard and has a lot of things to do, but believe me, it’s totally worth it.