well, in the end of 2012, in the very end, 11 pm, im starting to remember back what this year has given to me. spending the night from cinema, listening to good music, writing this.
i had the best birthday surprises ever in my life. friends came up at 00, cooldvideos and surprises from best friends, loads of gifts from family. everyone whispered wishes to me. i'm blessed!!! so much:)
i learnt in such a hard way that.. people come and go as... the life wants to. that's just how life treat us. would it feel good if we carry a huge bag with lots of rocks that finally hurts? no, it wouldnt. let it go.
i finally could understand how two lovers cant be together, how good friends separated, how leaves finally fall down..
i still cant forgive. it's hard to forgive. what hurts will remain as a weapon to me, i pretty much hate it. but.. i finally dont have to cry in a smile. i let it be.
there were some major ups and downs during this year. and i'm glad i've survived it. :)
i found a huge hobby called writing fiction. i finally embraced it. made fictionframe.tumblr.com to throw all the fantasies in my mind. so sad that December too much near realities i couldn't even escape. i'm so happy to hear the feedback, really. but i don't wanna hurt my writings. i couldn't be discipline in writings; that's why i didnt take literature as my major. that's the answer you need, Nin.. right?:)
i finally redecorate my bedroom as i've been dreaming about. since 3-5 years ago, i kept changing things, but never really liked it until this very second. all pretty. i made few minor decoration, and thought about having major in interior design or anything about design... then... i got bored doing it.. that's why, Nin.. got it?:)
got into few organizations in campus, made some events, met awesome friends in campus. all happy. found a family here in medschool. ilooooooveeeemycampuslife!!!!!!!!! love my campusssssss!!!<3
as i've been written, my dreams had been scattered. do i really like medicine? is this my dream?
quoted from one of my friends:
"kenapa sekolah disini? kalo disana kan kamu udah mau lulus.."
"impian,Nin.."
"waaa.. tapi disana sama disini enakan mana belajarnya?"
"enakan disana lah.."
"terus kal enakan disana kenapa tetep milih disini?"
"ngejar impian.."
yap. chasing dreams isn't luxurious at all. isn't all about blink and shines. it's about dragging yourself to a war, fight from anything conquer to finally go to another dreams. that's living a dream. not to be in your comfort zone telling yourself: well this is a dream comes true. im happy.
it may hurt but it will eventually worth it. believe me:)
and lovey dovey thingie. i got close to few guys, to finally be thankful of having this guy. he has been there for the last 3 years. the most supportive one. i was mad at him, stop talked to him, ignored him so much, but still, he was there. told everyone that guys are grey but then my male friend told me.. "you are the one that in a grey line. you're neither black nor white. you're always in the middle. how could people be clear about you when you aren't even clear about yourself?" .....yes, i am.
and in that foggy grayish mind of mine, he was still there dragging me to a fairer zone. thankyou. :)
i love you, Allah. for all the lessons, all the chapters you've given to me during the 2012. i love you for the bad and good things you've been given to me until this very last second. alhamdulillah.....
new year resolution:
1. ibadah makin baik, makin dekat dengan Allah
2. makin menunjukkan bentuk kasih sayang dan tanggung jawab pada keluarga
3. IP minimal 3.75
4. membaca minimal 12 buku. menyelesaikannya. membuat sinopsis dan ratingnya.
5. menyelesaikan seluruh tanggung jawab 2013 dengan baik; organisasi, event, akademik
6. bisa main piano (nah nah nah!!!)
7. bisa nyetir ke solo (dudududu~~)
8. bisa masak ninimal 4 masakan rumah
9. launch project pribadi.
10. hidup sehat: olah raga teratur, makan makanan sehat, minum air putih 1.5 liter per day.
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