is this really the end, dear 2011? 'cause it's like only a blink of eye. remembering 2011 so far.... is like remembering.... nothing? i've been busy doing things, running, changing, working hard, to get the dream i've been dreaming. until now, these days, i'm still busy to chase almost everything. "you cant be as young as you are today". so i wanna spend it more on exploring my self. who am i?
and i have nooooo idea about 2012 resolution. i mean.. i've been having new year resolution for years and now i have no days off and i cant think much of things but few academic stuffs. i miss high school, for its ups and downs, dramas, naive-dreams, and all. but you know, life's keep going no matter what. so i'll try to cheerish every moment knowing that i cant bring the exact past into present.
let's say. this year, i've found stronger faith in Allah. Allah gives me all i need, He's my all. He gives me the lesson of life in a very unexpected but beautiful way. i love it how i can find reason beyond everything. i also found that... jerks are around and i let them around because i had lack of confidence... well i still have. i thought if anything bad happens, it must be me. all the time, while it's not. feelings aren't as simple as one person's fault or bunch of people's faults. it's way more complicated than that so i decided to stay away from that kinda things awhile... :) this year i also have revealed the real friends o mine. some are just nice, some just really complete myself. some are kinda fake and some are just so true that i can be true to myself too when im with them. getting into medschool, my favorite medschool, is also the biggest thing that's happened this year. it's been a good days with those other medstudents.. medschool is really really good. i love it here, really, finally. i found some nice college mates and thhey're enough for now. this year i also turn to be 17. what an age.. people said. but i have 18-19 years old friends, most, so i dont feel like a 17 years old girl. now age doesnt matter anymore, i mean seventeen years old doesnt mean anything for now. not having some kinda miracles or sparkling dust all over my body... everything stays the same except myself. i know im changing, and i know who i wanna be, but you know, as einstein said: there's a relativity. i know i'm changing into someone i want, but i may less notice it. maybe i've been turning into monster or somehting i dont really know, and dont really think, also. all i know is im trying my best to make my life as good as it could be.
and now i really wanna thank Allah for the bless this year. this could be the year of awakening, maturity process, re-build my self. thank You, Allah, for letting me be this self. thank You for the lessons, the mistakes, the achievement. thank You...:) i would never thank You enough for the life You're giving to me:)
thankyou family, friends, and all. thank you....:) this year has been really good... with its ups and downs, i stilll can enjoy 2011. the year of total hard work, if i could name this year. thank you!!
now designing the next year. here some new year resolution of mine:
1. get closer to Allah, fix myself as a religious person-should be:)
2. have a really strong bond with family
3. have straight A for every block, smarter and more dilligent and discipline.
4. can drive a car
5. can cook few meals
6. be a vegan!
7. get 5000.000 rupiahs from sallary savings
8. have a good time menegement
9. inspire MANY people:)
10. get my confidence back with less egoistic side.
11. have a healthy life style; good diets, regular exercise, drink more mineral water.
over all i only wanna be the better version of me in every possible way. amin:)
but generally, i just wanna be the whole ability a woman ever need. in the first 3 months i wanna learn to drive safely, and the next 3 months i wanna learn to cook, and the next 3 months maybe learn about some arts, and the last 3 months? evaluating or doing any thing:)
now what's yours? happy new year people! thankyou!!
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