There are a lot of myth and romanticising about being a stay at home mother. The joy of being 24/7 with our kids, i-never-missed-her-milestone, i can give the stimulation that they need and everything. But actually, some of the days, being a stay at home mother requires most of our energy and our kids get whatever left of our mind, body and soul. Sometimes we felt so superior of being stay at home mother that we didn't push ourselves enough to be the best mother that we could ever be. Sometimes, we get bored and have no love left to raise our kids. there are bad days like that, but i am thankful that i can manage myself, or just even lower my expectation of tidy and clean home while raising a baby.
But one thing that i didn't know before, is that being a stay at home mother, or being a mother itself, empowers me somehow. I realized i could help a baby, little tiny baby who at first can't do anything, then do more of the things i could never imagine. She can laugh, she can sit, she can crawl, she can choose her mother (sometimes her dad too, lol), and everything. I realized that i have a power to change the world by teaching this little tiny baby to grow, to be whoever she aspire to be. That is really powerful, and i didn't know that at first.
I'm still juggling between my own goals, whether i should stay at home longer or start to work as soon as possible. But then i believe God knows the best, and i just have to do what's i have to do right now; be a homemaker and raise my baby well.
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